But a friend from high school insightfully reminded me of the joys of traveling alone. So in the spirit of present living, here is my list that helps me appreciate more my alone state of traveling. 1. I get to do whatever, whenever.
2. I can complain. There is to need to worry about bringing another person down with my negative energy. I do this in my head, of course, knowing that strangers do not want to hear me complain. No one likes a consistent complainer.
3. I can keep my own pace. I stroll, I walk quickly, I stumble…but it is all my own pace.
4. It’s cheaper. For the most part, traveling with other people has been the most expensive. You don’t want to miss out on their company so you eat at a more expensive restaurant than you normally would. You want to be with people so you go to a club you would otherwise not visit. The money is well worth the experience, but on a budget, going out can be a stretch. Easy to make up for when alone J
5. I don’t have to blame anyone else but myself for being lost. Thinking about it, I just need to get over the need to blame—others AND myself. And as Steve reminded me, I don't have the pressure of meeting up with someone when I am lost on my own.
6. I can spend five hours in a museum and not feel the obligation to leave.
7. I have to put myself out there; I can’t depend on others to make company for me.
8. I get to feel beautiful and flirtatious with strangers.
9. I don’t have to go places I do not want to go or do things I do not want to do, but this should be true at all times.
10. No one asks me questions about things I should know.
11. I have to trust my own sense of self-reliance—lifting my own bag, carrying my own weight, finding my own way, asking my own questions.
12. I can be lazy. Don’t know what to do? No discussions. Go have a coffee or sit in the park. Don't want to go out. Stay in bed all day and read friends' manuscripts, poetry, found hostel books.
Of course there are many reasons to travel with someone else, but right now I need to, as Audrey pointed out, enjoy what I have. Thank you, Audrey!
4 comments:
i have great respect for you to take on this solo journey, Fonda! ... and your bullet points are quite valid. my trip with dave was too often complicated by those interpersonal tensions and i, quite willingly, allowed him to essentially lead the trip in many regards. so i rather envy your bravery and drive to do it all alone! there is something to be said for "sharing" the trip and experience with a travel companion, but i'm guessing this was far more than a "trip" for you and more important/meaningful having done it your way!
When I was traveling after college with someone I totally loved,it was hard, too. Traveling in your thirties, solo or together, helps. there is something about being in the twenties that turns everything to shit.
But I get what you are saying. I hope that you get a chance to travel alone. I think you would thrive. And I would read your blog endlessly. Thank you so much Steve for being on this journey with me. Your insights give me new things to think about, things to prepare for when I get home, and just make me feel good. You are a good friend. I love you. F-
Very very late to the party here, but:
1. 3. 6. 9. 12. Oh my God yes.
As much as my wife and kids are dear to me, the idea that you just spent months on the road with none of the usual social obligations sounds like living in an everlasting dream state of pleasure and adventure. In a really good way. You're going to thank yourself in 10, 20 and 30 years for making this voyage really happen. Peace.
Thank you, John. It was a bit like living in a perpetual liminal state. I am still processing much of the trip, which means more blogs to come even though I am home :) Thanks for reading. BTW, I will have your manuscript to you soon!
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